Relish

After a tip off for a Breakfast Delish to Relish, a small number booked in….but things escalated bringing an almighty amount of hunks at late notice…how would they cope? And with the late notice and numbers?

Grill Scoff Herring –“This is an 8.5/10 for me. I’m gonna add it to Trip Advisor and see how long it takes Sea Biscuit to find it.”

STEWARD – “This was a place that accepted no messing. House rules were laid down bare as a lady’s bare breasts when they said from the off, f off to swaps. However, this certainly made for a short waiting time as the chef could just ‘bang ’em out’. Plus it encouraged that wonderful human action of sharing, as the Toast lads warmly offered their unwanted breakfast tit-bits to the human bins in our ranks. I also enjoyed the waitress explaining to The Prince that you couldn’t leave things off the plate only for RichPickins to immediately ask if he could leave an item off his. Ooh her face was a picture. For a paltry 6 quid, we got a lot, the choice of drinks included in that price was fine and dandy and it was really rather nice. Anyone getting smelly sausage burps? No swaps yer sweats 6/10“

The Prince – “Its getting a flat 5. Veggie option was gash. bit bland. crap saus. one egg. 

TWO FUCKING TOMATOES. bastards.

Pancakes were nice.

Coffee average 5/10“

ONNA MADONE – “7 cos of the company. No swaps cos it was too difficult. Said no black pudding then please.. No it comes with black pudding!! She said right ok then ..anyway RichPickins promised me his mushrooms and didn’t give me then..waitress was tasty but a little less fried and more poached wudnt go a miss. Said relish but more like raisins. To re-iterate a 7/10“

Mr Kirk Douglas – “Cracking turnout for the 2nd Birthday and the hosts were very amicable when it came to big numbers on the day. But this goes against the fact that we should be able to turn up and they sort us out, so no dice relish. No swaps was fair enough but to not take things off your plate that you don’t want was pretty poor.

The sausages were DIRTY, the latte nice and everything else just average.

6/10 and the owner looked like she was made from Full English leftovers. She had eggs for eyes and her hair was bacon. I’m pretty sure her body was made of sausages and instead of a mouth she had a tomato.”

Overall – 6.5/10

Final Thoughts – Although they coped well with the numbers, the lack of swaps and cheap sausages certainly caused a rumble amongst these burly breakfast bunch.

Nearly two years into Toast and we’ve all put on weight. That’s a fact. Don’t do too much breakfast kids.