Delifonseca

Found on Stanley Street, ‘Delifonseca’ is named after one C. Fonseca who had such trouble finding a good deli in Liverpool that she built her own. (Or so the website implies.)

This is a lovely story but it begs the question “Who even knows what a deli really is anyway?” followed by “Isn’t it the capital of India?”

‘Deli’ is short for ‘delicatessen’ and this long and complicated word supposedly means ‘fine foods’. So, I ask you, why not just say that?

However, having said all that the place looks fantastic. The bold colours and writing on the windows makes it really stand out. I really love the emergence of the ‘quicky’ and ‘quaint’ venues that we’re getting around Liverpool now, but enough about my penis on to the BREAKFAST.

Mr. Kirk Douglas – “Delifonseca promised a lot but failed to deliver. 

The standard breakfast of the venue consisted of 2 Bacon (Both shrivelled to something that was more like a frazzle), Sausage which was ace, 2 Poached eggs which were ace – however I’d rather not be asked how I wanted my eggs to get away with getting fried eggs and not having my conscience on my back and potatoes that weren’t really breakfast, but more like new potatoes that had been chopped into quarters.

The venue and service were good though, but sometimes you felt like everyone could hear everything you said and could have done with some background music. 

For a place like that I expected loads more and with the tea and orange juice not coming with the brekky, you were looking at over a Tenner for the lot. The tea was a bit up it’s own arse as well and a regular pot would have sufficed over a pot full of leaves. 

I don’t know whether expectation is causing my score to be the way it is, but it’s going to be a 6/10 and only escaped a 5 by the actual toast which came with the brekky that was like soda bread.

A shame.”

Onna Madone – “I forgot to leave a score..why did anyone give me a good toasting!! Anyway I’ll keep it short and sweet.. Me omelette was fab…too much lettuce for a brekkie tho..felt like a rabbit..anyway was quite expensive and for a Uruguyan place I didn’t see one hint of racism..service was good..I’d give it a 6..waitress an 8 and I wud have given a 9 if I cud have had her omelette.”

Johnny Concrete – “Delifonseca review…much as Kirk Douglas said really. I expected great things, they weren’t delivered. I ordered eggs with spinach, was told as the other breakies touched down that they were lacking crucial ingredients. I reverted to the standard breakie which was ok, but nothing special. A 6 for me, if it had cost 6 then maybe it would have scored better. Pricey fucker in comparison to most others.”

Overall Score – 6/10

Final Thoughts – The waitress probably had the perfect fanny.