Leaf is my “go-to” place for meetings. You need to have a meeting? Go to Leaf. It’s boss inside, the staff are friendly, there’s a great selection of teas and other drinks and there’s wi-fi. Also there’s boss music. Leaf is a good place to go for a meeting.

Is it a good place to go for breakfast?

Clarence Boddicker – “Oh bollocks I missed it didn’t I?”

Grill Scoff Herring – “High expectations were fully met at Leaf for me. I’ve never had a bad meal there & today was no exception. Service with a smile, prompt & attentive. 

The coffee was excellent, the ingredients on the FE were fresh & well cooked except for the questionable hash brown which was described accurately by Minute Man as the ‘Runt of the Litter’. Excellent value as the whole experience weighed in at well under a tenner.

No new faces this week but the banter was top quality. Parent Top Trumps, 47 Shades of Dripping Fanny, Brass Nipples. 8.5/10 – Put it ANYWHERE!”

Minute Man – “Friendly staff and decent, well priced food has been my previous experience at Leaf and today’s Toast was no exception. I briefly contemplated the smoked salmon breakfast… but coming to my senses, stuck with Full English, scrambled egg, no substitutions. Orders taken without fuss, food arrived quickly and smoothly. The sausages, toast, beans, mushrooms were good. The bacon was a bit fatty, the egg a bit dry and the hash brown just inexcusable… for me, those three things lost this particular establishment some points.

The speed of service was matched by the speed of eating. It was a brief Toast today, but like a good pair of briefs, it set me up for the day. 7/10. A welcome releaf.”

Jungle Trouble – “I’ve had breakfast at Leaf plenty of times. It’s always delightful and this time was no exception. The small blots of hash brown that turn up on the plate are always weird but never unpleasant. I asked for no bacon and my server suggested sausage instead, massive props for preempting my diet.

The staff at Leaf seem to be hired under two conditions. One is that they’ve got to all be super pretty and two is that they’ve got to be really friendly. Many have boss banter too. I fall in love regularly at Leaf.

Ladies, I look exactly like you imagine Christian Grey to look like. Mwahs. x 8/10″

Mr. Kirk Douglas – “Leaf wasn’t anything out the ordinary really, good atmosphere and boss staff however the food came out a bit too quick not really giving us much time to get the pre-scran bants out. 

The food in Leaf is usually immense which could have slightly tainted my view on the brekkie, the swaps were sublime with the offer of more beans or hash brown and meat for meat; however the breakfast was a bit bland. Bacon was a bit fatty, beans tasted cheapy (Supermarket own brand type), the hash brown was like a dodgy roast potato, poached eggs were rock hard, the black pudding didn’t really have any flavour but the sausage was great as was the latte. 

The staff and the atmosphere make up for this Toast, but it’s going to go down as a 5/10. Definitely be back for the main menu, but will probably Leaf it well alone for the Brekkoggz.”

Jester Fortune – “I was looking forward to Leaf after having various delicious culinary delights from their menu and I’m also a hipster.

Orders were placed and we seated ourselves down. Before the banter could begin our food was read. This points to pre cooked food on a hot plate ready to be served. I went for my usual full English and I’m sad to say I was under whelmed, 1 sausage, rubbery eggs, smart price quality beans and fatty bacon. For £7+ one should expect better. I do seem to be i the minority so maybe I was just unlucky. The venue and service were once again spot on but sad to say the breakfast Leaf me feeling satisfied. 4/10

Sea Burger – “I’ve breakfasted at Leaf a number of times but this was my first full English and I was left a little disappointed. I’ve previously had the salmon (amongst other things), which was absolutely excellent. This time however, the black pudding was bland, the beans were average and the poached eggs were way over-cooked. That being said, the mushrooms, bacon, tomato, sausage and toast were all ace so overall it was decent breakfast, but not the usual Leaf standards. I do like Leaf a lot though so will probably venture back here for breakfast again. Extra points gained by the waitress telling me that I could “put it anywhere”. Great stuff.

Decent breakfast, excellent porno talk – 7/10

Overall Rating: 6.6

Final Thoughts – Well, I expected higher from Leaf, I really did. The score was dragged down substantially by Jester & Kirk, which is unfortunate. Let’s hope next time the reviews aren’t quite so varying!